About defaults: Use the colour manager and just make the defaults to be using the system colours.
About notebooks: You're using gtk3 I suppose, because in gtk2 we have a native dock art, but this doesn't look possible in gtk3. I won't bother with the default aui arts, they are plain ugly and old looking. I plan to make something 100% custom. Probably reuse the work done in CodeLite or replicate the notebook in Firefox or similar. I don't know yet.
About panel names: There is a button in the settings to auto-detect the colours after a theme change, so I'm not sure what you want to change there.